Various Thoughts on Education in America.

I find that I have a wealth of thoughts and issues regarding public education.  I must note that my opinions are mostly from my own experience in the public school system of Roanoke, VA… but I have also observed and mentally noted the thoughts and comments of friends from all over the country.

The American Education system is in terrible shape.  Sometimes, I wonder how much of the school’s sub-par results are some kind of way for the government (made mostly of upper 10% white men, with private school backgrounds) to keep the masses from becoming too smart to be controlled.  If the masses were better educated they may be demanding more or better aid from the federal government.  But luckily, we receive poor educations, unless we take the initiative to pursue knowledge on our own.  This means the government can make decisions to Cut Health Care Benefits for our Veterans at the same time they decided to ship out more soldiers to the middle east.  They can do these things all at once, and more without hearing from the American’s in large enough numbers to matter because the public is too busy watching endless news coverage about the death of some half-assed celebrity or the birth of babies by two famous film actors.  Films, Music and Televsision shows on one hand can be so incredibly moving and informative… but sometimes they’re created with the intention of entertaining and distracting the masses.  Look at the release of every Larry the Cable Guy film, I gurantee you that day in the news the government passed something screwing the lower class workers.  Look at the impact and marketing push of Reality TV.  Everyone claims to hate it, but most find themselves sucked into finding out what former waitress from middle America will when a record deal.  This gives hope, but its a false hope, because 90% of the country will never move from the class they found themselves born into.  Its hard to move up, education helps, but then again its a rigged game.  Rural areas don’t offer a lot of advanced learning or arts courses.  Instead, they have a basic diploma, a focus on sports, and offer vocational programs.  Its like from 9th grade on, students are told, if you are from here… this is what is expected of you… become a mechanic, construction worker or factory line drone.  I luckily went to a school, surrounded by rural schools, but I was in a city.  My high school offered many different programs that allowed students who desired it to receive a very nice education.  The school was linked to a nearby Governoor’s School (Specializing in Math and Science– here, students would take classes each day for half the day, by graduation pretty much they would have credit for most college level Mathematics and Science courses.  Hell, some students have a patent filed or a math publication by graduation from the program), The IB program was there (Advanced learning program, specializing in producing students educated at advance levels in all areas… by 11th & 12th grade, the classes are quite difficult but after completing a test with a high score the student receives college credit for it), A.P. courses (taught college level courses, received college credit with high test score), Dual-Enrollment Courses (Classes that qualify as both high school and college classes.  Students receive credit from The Community College in the city as long as they made a C or higher), then there were the 3 different Magnet Programs the school held (Magnet Programs were special topic programs in VA that allowed for students to get fully developed education and exposure to various fields.  The State funding was pulled after the 2004-2005 school year… School of Global Studies–means we offered a lot of intersting history, social science classes. School of… shit, don’t remember name– basically could take mechanic, shop, computer tech, flight liscencing type classes.  and finally the area I found myself… The School of the Arts– 7 theatre courses, 7 visual arts courses, 4 dance courses, 2 TV/Video Lab Courses, 2 Photograhpy courses, 2 Choir courses, 5 Band courses…) all available to any student when beginning their 9th grade year…if they wanted to try their hand at something more than the basic courses required for graduation.  True, a large portion of the students in the programs above were part of several at once, and about 3/4 the students at the school were only partially involved in any of the programs at all… but, looking at some of my friends and where their lives are going it worked for us.  Shivan went to Stanford & now works for RAND Corporation. Morgan went to Amherst & is now an Economic Consultant. Jared went to JMU, is an award winning performance poet and works in New York for an opera house as a sound tech. Candice went to Radford and is now teaching Elementary School students.  Ben went to Roanoke College and is a successful Sculptor. Samantha is a revolutionairy independent filmmaker is the Ohio area.  Season went to Hollins and worked in both dance & medical areas. Matt is finishing severals degrees at High Point with intentions to teach College Arts courses.  Kyle went to ETSU, he works with Digital Media.  I bounced around colleges, then moved to Los Angeles where I have become an independent film writer/director.  Hell… even a professional football player came through the school, former Browns, then Dolphins player Lee Suggs went through our programs.  He now coaches college football.  There are more.  Point is, now that I have rambled forever about the school… MY HIGHSCHOOL WAS IN ONE OF THE 5 LARGEST CITIES IN THE STATE. It offered lots of choices for classes and many students graduated with high test scores, moving on to excell later.  A HIGH SCHOOL 10 MILES AWAY IN A FARMING TOWN, with several factories and a large quarry. This is where my cousin went, basic classes for the most part.  One art class.  Sports were bulk of extracuricular.  Half of students went into vocational school programs by 11th grade.  The other half couldn’t get into college, so if they wanted to leave the area Military was the only option.  The school’s in our country, seem to stereotype slightly in regards to what courses and options the school makes available to its students.  The only reasons the “inner-city” minority heavy William Fleming High School, my school, had all those programs and the city didn’t desperse them between the two schools, or put them all at the predominately white other school, was due to some sort of stereotyping the school boards had.  In the late 90s Standards of Learning Tests became a required examination for students each year.  In high school, a student has to pass a certain number of tests in particular courses to graduate.  The results of the tests each year determined the school’s accredidation status which affects the money school’s receive from the state, so Roanoke placed all the advanced programs at Fleming or simply allowed students to travel to and from the program’s building in the city back to the school.  They felt this would give Fleming high test scores.  The school board had no concerns about the other schools scores. Just Flemings.

With regard to these Standardize Tests, I am led to a point I feel quite strongly about.  I’ve mentioned in a one liner post on this blog already.  These standardized tests, first implemented during Clinton’s final years, but made a madatory graduation requirement bother something inside my mind.  These tests are compiled by people working for the government.  There is a specific test for most basic High School classes, then there’s required tests the students take almost every other year-Math, Science, History, Reading, Writing.  7th/8th: 5 tests, divided.  5th, 3rd and 1st.  1st Graders are now required to pass 5 government made tests, as well as pass their class,  to move on to the next grade.  Beyond the issue I have with some guys who work for the Secretary of Education, sitting around each year deciding what they think students should be learning.  Yes, that’s right, these tests are the government tellings us what we should learn, and because of the pressure for high scores placed on schools and teachers… students are being taught basically what the test demands, and having these items repeated nonstop until the tests happen in early May.  That’s it.  Students are taught what the test wants, and that’s pretty much it, and sometimes… the test has wrong or incomplete answers.  For instance, according to the 3rd Grade History SOL, the cause of the civil war was slavery. That was the right answer. In 5th grade the same question’s answer was the Southern States desire to become a seperate nation.  That’s closer to right, but missing something, and could be simpler… 7th/8th grade: Same question’s answer has become The Southern States Secceding from the Union. Correct, finally.  We teach students the wrong thing until they are 12, 13, 14ish then make them relearn it the right way.  Why not teach it to the correctly to begin with and move on to other topics.  I am so glad I only experienced these tests from 7th grade on… not from the beginning.  The program was just beginning as I went through school, meaning the teacher’s still taught what they felt was needed… but I worry about what will become of future generations.  Lets cut art program fundings, funding for advanced social science studies, funding for technical studies, funding for foreign language… all of which lost most of their funding between 2005 and 2008, and the school’s focus turns from teaching the courses as they’d been taught for so many years, to suddenly the classes are focused on teaching students answers to government approved questions on things.  The reading one scares me a lot, multiple choice with one right answer and yet there asking questions about themes, imagery and lesson of writings the state chose, with a specific right or wrong answer… yet many of these questions are interpretive.  The SOL tests discourage students from thinking for themselves and encourge them all think one way.  This slow breakdown of individuality concerns me.

The SOL Tests when fully pushed and supported by George W. Bush came through with his “No Child Left Behind” Program.  The idea is that every child in America will be able to graduate with a high school diploma, and feel as though they have received the education needed to survive in college or the workforce.  Basically, the standardized tests were to make sure that students were getting the same level of education, also, that they were being taught uniform ideas.  I once put out a quote on my feelings about this program, one sentence released in print with two different but ultimately correct meanings behind the words, depending on inflection… “Less intelligent students will be able to get ahead.” “Less intelligent students will be able to get ahead.”  Both versions are equally correct and equally of a concern.  Due to the emphasis placed on a students Test Scores in the SOL Test first, then their GPA & SAT/ACT scores… the realm of scores in SOL tests is much narrower… between 0 (nearly impossible, unless student doesn’t fill out own name) and 300, if I remember correctly.  Over 200 was an advanced score.  This limited range of points, plus the narrow-minded view of the subject matter allows students who are not as smart, or even actively invested in their education to memorize certain extremely specific information in a subject and look just as good as a student who has been working incredibly hard at school and displays high intelligence.  There is something wrong here.  If a student tries harder, makes better grades, takes more advanced courses and participates actively in groups through the school, this student deserves to stand out to potential colleges or employers.  They’ve put forth the effort required to do something great.  If students don’t try, put forth limited effort, never participate in extracurriculars except school dances, then the student should get a second tier chance.  They should not be awarded or viewed the same as the students who try.  Thanks to SOL tests, the US governments sees the two students as the same based solely on SOL scores. This is troubling.

Scaling down to my personal high school and some actions I do not understand. I do not agree with some of the changes my High School made during my final year and they continued to add in the years that followed.  They removed sodas from the vending machines first, insisting the soda makes students fat.  Okay, that’s fine, whatever.  My problem is that the soda was replaced by bottles of Fruitopia.  This is not a juice drink at all, which I think the school believed the drinks to be, no, no, no.  Not at all, these drinks had to same ingredients of the Kool-Aid I drank as a child. Water, artificial fruit flavoring–but not enough, too watery in flavor, and the final ingredient was sugar. A lot of sugar.  Sugar, Water with food coloring/flavor mix added in…  The result: A boost of energy in the students just after drinking it, followed 10 minutes later by a plummiting crash.  After that, the result is… per bottle… 4 trips to the bathroom in a 2 hour period to pee out an unbelievable amount of fluid.  So the students, will be wired then want to fall asleep, and if they stay awake the student will have to be excused to the bathroom several times during a class.  On top of this, the student’s drink this faster than a bottle of soda, since it is mostly water.  This means the students buy a great deal more.  Oh wait! Maybe that was the real intention.  At school only certain students would by soda multiple times a day.  Students like… well, me (3 bottles of Mello Yello each day).  By switiching to something else, that went down much easier, the students would buy more drinks.  This means the school will make more profit from it’s 15% cut of the $1.25 cost per bottle.

Another change the school made, not until after I left… the addition of a fence that completely elminates traffic through, what was in my time at the school an extremely busy pathway.  To understand, the school is campus style, with several building spread out on the property and a large number of sidewalks that link everything.  The passageway blocked was near the student parking lot.  It was used mostly by students who drove to get to the main area of campus.  Also, the passageway was used to reach the Theatre, Art, Choir, Dance, Photography and TV/Video classes with ease.  By blocking the passage, the student’s walk these classes would require an additional 5 minutes, so the student could walk the long way around the other buildings.  This seems to be stupid.  The fence’s placement along the path makes its stupidity worse. It squeezes between two buildings, blocking the walkway between  them.  The problem is one of the buildings is the gym.  Here’s the issue, the entrance to the men’s lockerroom is on one side of the fence. Easy to reach from most of the campus.  The women’s lockerroom is on the other side, only easy to reach from the arts classes.  This is just a poorly planned idea on the part of the school I once attended.  I found out just how bad this decision why when a teacher I now call a friend explained to me why it was put up. “They put it up to break up that group of smokers that huddled there in front of the trainer’s room (the last room of the building opposite the passageway from the gym).  I laughed and shook my head. The fences doesn’t block off the area the smoker’s used, or even come close to make it difficult for them to reach. The fence is 5 feet away from where the group met, and still meets.  In fact, this fence makes it easier for them to hangout there and smoke without getting into trouble. There’s a fence stopping security or faculty from reaching them quickly from one direction.  That means less area for them to be watching.

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This has been quite a long blog and I doubt anyone but myself will actually read through this enitre thing.  I have a lot of issues with the Education system, but here’s proof I shouldn’t work in politics… I have no solution, no brilliant idea about how to make everything better.  Nothing.  Now, that I think of it a lack of originial thought/ideas sounds like what the governments wants in the youth… and what they require of their congressmen, whom we the thoughtless then turn to elect… usually based on how many times they’ve been there (that makes us recognize their name) or how nice, trusting or handsome the elected is… we use our Voting Power wisely, indeed, and should brag proudly about the men and women we the people decide to put in control, who spend most of their time arguing over nothing, meaning nothing ever really gets done…

Shit, another tangent… anyway, I don’t have some grand plan… but I do offer this–>  In my life outside of schools, well, college fits this too… so, In my life in personal situations, career situations and college situations (but academic and campus-life) there have been 5 skills that have proved unbelievably useful to me.  An awareness, knowledge and understanding of these items allowed me to make decisions with speed, yet intelligent consideration.  To understand how people gernally operate and therby now how to approach to meet someone.  To know how to survive and live on my own with out starving.  To know how to make decisions before too much thought it put into it to make any choice seem worthwhile.  Many many more experiences have been successfully navigated thanks to these 5 skills and each experience improves the application of the skill. The skills are: Logic, Reason, Common Sense, The Thickened Skin and Patience.

I would love to find someone with the right combinations of degrees/education behind them (probably experience in the fields of Education, Philosophy, Sociology, Pscyhology, Real-World Mathematics, and Debate would work).  Then get this extremely well-educated person to figure out a way to teach these 5 skills in a course to students. Personally, I believe that far too few people out there possess these skills, or they do not understand how to apply them constructively.  In the business world, the entertainment world, the field of athletics, the military, politics and much more, these skills give individuals the ability to move up and survive their jobs despite tremendous odds.

Logic would allows the individual to look at a abstract situation and quickly apply a solution that would yield positive results.  Logic is thinking about some object in one’s way, some physical task required as though it were a Mathematical problem and deducing the desired solution and from the from best possible path from Point A to Point B.  Applying Logic would ellimate a person from making rash decisions that would late come back to harm him/her.

Reason is similar to Logic, but much more specific, narrowed and incredibly analytical.  Reason focuses on mental obstacles, tasks and needs; whereas Logic focuses on solving the needed course of a physical action.  Reason involves an understanding of the human mind, the emotions that cloud the mind and the uncontrolled movements people make that reveal everything.  Usuing reason to take notes on a person’s personality, behavior and thoughts, one can reasonably make a guess about how the person would react or respond to particular stimulus.  A useful skill in aquiring a job or selling youself or your product to a group.  Reason would allow you to look at a group and figure out with the first five minutes speaking to them just who doesn’t care, who’s mind is elsewhere, who’s interested, who’s the hard ass/stubborn, and which of them is the one who hold’s money.  A very beneficial skill, indeed.

Common Sense, would be the first of these taught.  Its something people bring up frequently, but seldom the actions of people fit what common sense is used to describe.  Common Sense would allow one to make decisions on an instictive level, that would be helpful but generally are avoided.  If one wake’s up see’s fog outside, grey clouds in the sky.  One wouldn’t have to check with the weather channel, no, Common Sense would allow them to instinctively know to take the umbrella on the way out.  It may not be raining, but common sense says that the sky looks like rain is likely.  Common Sense would allow for less traffic collisions or even near collisions.  Drivers with the skill training would be much more tuned into the road surrounding their vehicle and what the vehicle is doing. Common Sense is a skill everyone uses to some extent, but not nearly enough. Before I move on, imagine… someone approaches to voting polls for an election and applies all 3 of the above skills to their answers… how would he vote?  Then what if an extremely large number of voters did the same.  Furthermore, Combined use of these 3 similar but different skills (Logic, Reason and Common Sense) over the years, and after several generations of education, would possibly see the disappearance of prejudices, harmly stereotypes, racism, sexism, etc.  We wouldn’t be left with basic assuptions.  We look, grab the assumption and continue our observation.  Soon we’d have more than enough subtle information to know what the person is like, and whether or not one should converse with the person.  If there was a problem with a person, logic would tell us all people are different and not allow us to judge everyone that way.

The Thickened Skin, should be the second topic introduce in an education, but the final one mastered.  It takes time to develop a think skin, but its also different for every person.  The quality of life, the social relationships, the mental health and the type of temper all are factors in how a thickskin is developed.  The student pursuing a thickskin that’d be useful in the workforce, college, or even high school, would have to be willing to put themselves out there, take chances.  To develop a thickskin a person most open themselves up to opportunities of rejection, mockery, failure, embarassment.  Everytime the person tries to do something and passes, hooray and congratulations, do something else next week.  Eachtime the person tries and the response is negative, the skin gets a little thicker.  The more negativity offered at one time the greater the thickness developed.  For it to be most affect, the student should to physically and emotionally react to the negativity as little as possiblem.  One should just listen and take in what the bad review says.  Again, everybody requires a different base thickness to be able to survive post-highschool without having a breakdown.  There’s no precise way to measure skin thickness.  However, the final exam before graduation could be a large group of people the person respects are in audience.  The person stands before them and tries to pitch something.  The crowd treats him as horribly as they feel necessarry.  By this time, not should the person have a pretty thickskin, but also will have been through the other 4 skills.  The person has to make it through the pitch, without staggering, without questioning themselves, without a doubt in mind, while standing up to endless abuse from people they care about.  This must continue until the person convinces the crowd to calm down.  Could last for hours, or only minutes.  If the person cannot convince the crowd, and either gives up or the members of the crowd grow bored and leave–then the test must be retaken, but a failure in this could add significant thickness to the skin.

Patience is a rather important skill, probably the skill the average person has the most experience and use with.  The DMV and Hospital Emergency Rooms seemed to be designed to test this skill within people.  Even entertainment events, like concerts, plays, movies, amusement parks require waiting in lines, then waiting for the entertainment to begin.  Patience is necessary and is applied almost unknowingly to moments in life.  Sometimes its only needed long enough to keep out attention in the right place while waiting for a website to load.  Other times is requires sitting through an entire awards ceremony where you know the you’re honored for is one of the last.  Patience is found in birth, as the father pases frantically waiting for the infants arrival–a struggle of patience and impatience.  Patience can be found in dead, as the soon to be departed loved one patiently watches and listens to all the crying words of those he or she knows.  Patience can be use to help in physical applications of creative skills.  The painting of specific details requires a great deal of patience if it is to look like some print, rather than a hand applied pattern.

Patience, combined with a thickskin, can allow you keep to pushing and pushing towards a goal, no matter how specific, with unwavering determination.  You could get rejected from a requested meeting with some executive,  time and time again, but pursuit continues until you one day are given a date and time for the meeting.  Now, you have better while made sure of what you intend to say in the meeting.  No matter what you don’t leave until you are finished; use logic, reason, and patience.  Patience will help to not interrupt the executive when he/she speaks (despite the executive’s constant interruption of your words), you’ll need to logic and common sense to be able to maintain the words you came to say in your mind, but also have the ability to answer the executives specific questions on the spot.  Doing this without mixing up anything, requires maintaining your ground, keeping relaxed and calm, which you will need a thickskin for.

These skills will also allow a person to find themselves less likely to be tricked, manipulated or talked into scam investments, pyramid scheme business deals, religious conversion, or cult brainwashing.  In fact, if approach, successful use of the three could allow one to turn the conversation around, making it possible to sway the missionairies religious view, or free the cult members mind from the fold to which they are subject.  It should be noted: The application of the 5 skills, may lead a person down a spiritual journey that destines them to no religion technically, but an idea of some element, spiritual perhaps, lurking within us.  But without enough information or facts then Logic, Reason and Common Sense will not reach a specific solution, Thickskin also for the one to question the specific religious openly, with intelligent argument and flourish because they will not be broken.  And the use of Patience, will allow one know to just wait for solution when things are unclear.  Common Sense saws not all solutions appear instantly, or are easy to reach.  Some take more time and endless exploration.

There are countless examples that could be given, showing the way that a person’s careful application of the 5 skills would be beneficial in an innumberal amount of situations.  There’d be more peace, as actions would always be dictated by clear thought… even impulsive actions, thanks to Common Sense.  Tolerance would be outdated, not that we would all however, actually acceptance would be so normal, the separations and differences in people are not considered a reason to dislike a person unless give some reason behind it.  Most religion would be found to not be logical, but faith and spiritualism could not be proven nor disproven, leaving the two elements to continue to mystify the human mind.

It would be nearly to impossible to teach someone these skills, most people in life who have them developed them over many years and many specific experiences.  Furthermore, if the skills could be taught, and somehow became a requirement scholasticaly… there would be a significant decrease in the number of graduates each year.  But I think that’s just what is needed.  The opposite of the current plan.  Don’t make it so more students are graduating, and doing so more easily.  Instead, you make requirements for gradaution much more difficult, and specific.  When first implemented many students will have to repeat senior year.  And the number of students who fail rise for a fews years, then it would see a sudden boom in the number of graduates each year.  The number of students who do move on each year would slowly increase a little more, yearly, until an ultimate plateau around the 95% mark.  You have to make it harder, to make them work for it.  If they can graduate with out trying, they’ll do it that way.  Make them have to do the effort.  Make a rule, you graduate by 20 or you have to enlist in military & pass G.E.D.

And with that, I bring to conclusion my extremely long and highly opinionate discourse of the failures of our Schools and what people need to learn… enjoy.

From the Vault, #2: The Autumn Song, parts 1, 2 & 3

The Autumn Song (Octover 2005)

Part 1: The Drop in the Heat of Blood

Almost like a cancer
The drive has slipped back in
Fuel my fire
Now strengthen this deep desire
Feel it spin
So deep within
Feel thought once again
Creep out from beneath the brain
Burdened by temptation
Need for exhilaration
Subtle mind manipulations
Sweeten soured vacations
Flock to a new home
Run from a heart that breaks alone
The cell doors have opened to a grave
The future has made yet another slave
Walk into the misty wastelands
And at the end embrace Death hand in hand
That’s how one creates the new
That’s how one can get through
Fear is nothing more than excuse
An excuse to justify why you lose
Give in and except your fate
Give in now, bite the bait
You’ve been reeled in
Now you must give in
Give up, give now
Everything to such solemn vows
People may try to change
Change minds, erase rage
But no one changes
All remains the same
The lesson learned here is
Apathy is the dearest
Closest and safest decision
The only way to look past dead visions
About to crash into a wall of brick
Crack the skull, no matter how thick
Death, no matter how life tries to cling
Is all this life can ever bring
Just an end, a midnight to life’s day
Time for dusk to fade all away
Try to wind the clock back an hour
But that’s just one more hour to turn sour
So embrace the thought of all being over
Stop searching for those fake leaf clovers
Let the curtain come crashing down
And take a dive, its time to drown

Part II: The Breakdown of Life’s Purpose

And now he flies through the hallway
Like some flock of nightingales by day
Fleeing from the splintered way
Fleeing from a spring of decay
The season’s mist and circumstance
Twirl and mix your soul in a faint trance
Create an image so sincere
So complex with fear
That no one will once again enter the auditorium
The performance hall turned sanitarium
On the docks, where the feeble finds an end
My hand feels the power of long lost friends
Heaven and Hell fade into one
Purgatory fades into a slum
The streets litter with refuse
Eyes ignite like a lit fuse
Rage unfolds where despair degrades
Wrath comes to the park for a quick play
A circle has been drawn around my neck
A place to place the grace that will remove my face
Sharpen steel, cast in fire
Slicing at my every desire
Tear the bone from the flesh
The sweetest smell, something foul–something fresh

Part III: The Dance of the Falling Leaves

The pen was dropped from up above
The crack leaked down a tear of love
The vengeance and dissonance
Broke through the arrogance
Simple minds calculate and philosophize
While their beliefs becomes their li(v)es
Been pushed too far for far too long
The unholy burden grows ever strong
Taste the fear in your eyes with a wicked tongue
Smell the sweet scent of sweat as it corrodes my lung
Breath-defying ever-trying life of dying
No need to ponder now why one crying
The Autumn’s draining passion finds its way
To each of us and fades it all away

From the Vault, #1: Required.

From the Vault.

Here are some older writings of mine that I have recently found, many of which are poems or lyrical because I once had aspirations of being a musician of some sort so I would try to write songs.

I will try, as best I can remember, to place a date for each piece…

Required (Augst 2003)

You’ve already entered my world of decay
You’re already a part of my dismay
You’ve been participating in my play
And you’ll remain here for all your days

See, life is a mystery that needs to be solved
My life is a history that’s being dissolved
Your life is a misery that fits in my palm
Our lives end so easily, so still–so calm.

So relax, take a deep breath and dive in
Enter my mind, my life, my book and grin
There’s something to see deep down there within
So enter.  Let all the fun and games begin!

Work Ethic.

Strange as it may sound, I must say at this moment… thank God for my need for limited amounts of sleep.

In the month’s to come my class at the Los Angeles Film School will begin working on our Final Projects, usually referred to around the school as “Thesis Films.”

The School has greenlit 12 of the screenplays submitted, out of I believe 16 potential projects.  I have been asked to work on several, which is a tremendous honor, but also somethinng of a concern to me.

I have written one of the greenlit films, titled Resolution., a film I am also Directing.  I will also be doing my own Production Design, although I am working closely with my classmate/colleaque Kahea Kiwaha (my Art Director).

I am working as either Production Designer or Art Director on several others.  Among the films greenlit I will hold this position for: Jess Wise‘s Through the Door.  Among the films not greenlit, but still likely going into production I will hold this postion for: Sean Dahlen‘s Winner, Aaron Sweeting‘s Poison Control (I will also be the First Assistant Director for this film), a music video for Aaron Banks, and two films that at this moment I do not the titles for (directed by Jordon O’Brien and Sergio Bernal).

I have also been asked by Katherine Tran to be on the crew for her thesis film, again I am unsure of the title.  My friend Carson Patrick has asked me to work on his film Dutch Angle, also.

In adition to all of that, I am providing Miguel Bocanegra with an edit of his script, Without Words, and providing Patrick Evans some graphic designs for a company his is starting.

After working on all of that, in July I will also be assisting a young man named, Daniel Michael DeLuca with his thesis film Night of the Special Ed.

So, I have a busy couple of months ahead of me, top all that off with normal classwork, beginning the job hunt for after school, trying to financing to survive on during all of this, working on the radio show podcast once a week, writing several feature length screenplays that I intend to sell, and still find time to sleep and eat.

Balance.

Its getting harder and harder to keep everything straight, on time and in mind as the days go on.

First, there’s the grueling twelve hour school days, which don’t even really count as school– this term they’ve pretty much become workdays. Spend three days building, painting and decorating a set on a soundstage. Shoot for one day. Then the next day begin the process all over again. Its incredibly fun and I am loving every minute of it, but it is quite exhausting.

Second, working on my thesis film. Screenplays are to be submitted and pitched by the end of the month. I have thrown away three scripts for being too complicated, too “big” in idea… basically I wouldn’t be able to shoot them with the limitations we have for thesis. So this past week instead of sleeping one night I sat down and began typing. I came up with my darkest, most twisted idea yet, but it is also the simplest to shoot. So I’ll be turning that in soon, after a few little tweeks.

Third, working on a feature script, that I will begin the painful process of selling ASAP. One, I need the money. Two, the sooner I get money the better.

Fourth, I have begun resurrecting my old radio show as a podcast and am constantly having to network and communicate with musicians from all of the world.

Fifth, I am trying to assist fellow filmmakers on any and all outside school shoots I can get myself a job on.

Take in all of this, realize that I live within the means of normal time– 24 hour days, 7 day weeks. I sleep very little. Sometimes I go days without sleeping at all. The nicotine soothes the nerves and the alcohol relaxes the mind… just have to keep them both in moderation.

Eating, but on a budget… man, money’s the back of the mind worry at the moment. I am in school, yet due to economic crisis, Wachovia has started billing me for my previous loans and will not defer them. So I am having to go to foreclosure on them… which only last for three months, and can only be done twice a year. On top of that, the loans the school I am currently attending allowed me to take will not cover me, food and rent wise through the end of the school year. I have no idea how I am going to survive. My family, is unable to cosign for further loans for me, and I cannot get loans on my own… thanks to the Wachovia matter mentioned above, which I was not informed of until 4 months of no payments had passed (I received no bills, and I had sent a defferent form in, which was approved… but somehow they decided I couldn’t be deferred and did not inform me… thanks)

Anyways, a lot on my mind at the moment as you can see… 5 months of school left. No fucking clue what awaits me on the otherside… so much debt to be paid, a lease that ends 2 weeks before I graduate… its going to be interesting to see where it all goes from here.

Stay tuned, folks.

Identity.

I have become lost in a perpetual delusion.

Who am I?  That question has been plagueing me for as long as I can remember.

Who am I? Does anyone really know who they are?  There is no simple way to descripe oneself.

Sure, we all have a name.  In my case its Trey Andrew Simmons.  This first part owes its thanks to some soap opera character my mother found “hunky” and to the fact that I am indeed, the third son.  The second part hails from some dead relative that I never met.  The third part, the family name, too bad I’m not part of millionaire Simmons’ that make beds.

More than a name, everyone (well everyone legally born or living in the United States of America that is) has a social security number.  Mine is a random nine digit number not too far off from my cell phone number.

But who is someone?  Who am I? Spiritually, physically, mentally, in personality or whatever else… What makes me, well, me?

Physicaly I am tall, but not really.  I am skinny but more on the lanky side.  I am underweight (sometimes… sometimes I just barely hit the weight I should be), covered in scars from childhood carelessness and adolescent stupidirty (or is it the other way around).  My bones crack like a senior citizen.  I have a cratering chest that has at points caused me severe breathing troubles and at other times served as a drunken party trick option.  I am apparently not the “hottest” guy around, but at the same time I don’t seem to be hedious.  What’s that make me… average? Interesting.

Spiritually I am a mess.  My spirituality fights more than congress on a bad day and most of the time its as active as a pothead in a coma.  I know I believe in something, God perhaps, but I don’t care enough to really figure it out.  Its not going to change who I am.  If there is a God, then he/she made me who I am.  If there isn’t a God then I am simply just who I am.  Neither way, I don’t see myself changing so what is the point.  I was raised in the Church of the Brethren.  A Christian church that doesn’t act like most of the rest.  The church is liberal pascifists that eat a lot, play four-square and every once in a while they mention that Jesus fellow.

Mentally I am constantly all over the place.  Bouncing between happy, sad, lost in a dream, distraut, patient, confused, complacent, anxious, angry, self-destructive, and caring at the turn of a screw.  I am a paradox of myself.  I contradict my own contradictions without coming off hypocritical.  Top all that with a witty charm and self-depricating sense of humor.  I view myself with much doubt and don’t really consider myself to be too talented.   That comes from my siblings and my family.  My mother was never too supportive in anything I sought to pursue.  My brothers, served as examples to me.  My oldest brother was full of ambition but had no clear dream or drive in any one thing… kinda trying to take it all in… but he never went to far with any of it because he had to try it all.  My other older brother was full of talent but no ambition, no drive.  So I grew up trying to immulate them but learning from their mistakes.  I have always had big dreams all my own, but the talent, ambition and drive part came from me trying to take my Brothers’ examples to apply to my own dreams.  What talent I appear to have, was not natural in the slightest, it came from years of practice, development… years of me trying to do art and write as well as my brother does.  I will never reach his abilities.

My parents raised me to be both polite and honest.  As I grow older I find it difficult to be both.  It has been my experience that honesty is rarely nice, sweet or polite.

I have been told by some that I am an idealist.  I spend large amounts of time lost in my head imagining how things could be in the future in my perfect world.  I strive to get to that point and sometimes I acheive my goals despite the cost– risking financial security, friends and relationships to reach the goal I have created in my mind.

The Not Important Radio Show- Returns!

The Not Important Radio Show with Trey and Adam is back, and its been through a sort of upgrade.  Now available as a podcast!

Most of you were not around in the Fall of 2005 and Spring of 2006, when the Not Important Radio Show made its biggest but modestly-sized splash.  Fewer still can recall the Fall of 2006’s change of cohost and its much smaller splash.  But hopefully, with time, The Not Important Radio Show (Version 3.0) will make not only a splash but it’ll keep the waves coming.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A So-Called Brief History: (by Green @ NirMedia.)

The Not Important Radio Show (The NIRS) began in August of 2006, when two friends/roommates (Adam T. Croft and Trey A. Simmons) signed up to work for Roanoke College‘s newly developed radio station– WRKE 101.3fm.  The two decided since they love to ramble on and on about music, movies and pop culture while listening to music they would cohost a show.

The Not Important Radio Show, began as Trey and Adam claimed for themselves the Wednesday and Sunday night final show spot–11pm to Midnight.  Sunday and Wednesday were shown to unpopular time slots, and therefore their dream of a Heavy Metal/Hard Rock show, in their conservative surrounding, was able to be realized.  Metal music was not popular on the campus either, and its with that in mind that the show’s name came to be.  The Station Manager (also Manager of the Building the studio was housed in) told them not to worry about a show name because their show is not important.  It stuck, and The Not Important Radio Show was born.

The show grew slowly… Trey picking music each week based on what was new, what currently caught Adam’s or his own ear, or eventually what was requested of them by audience members.  Adam would handle controlling the boards, editing the lyrics and running all equipment.  Trey would do the talking to the people, while Adam answered to the bosses.  It only took them about two shows before they realized just how far they could take it and the show was given another hour– 11pm to 1am– an hour after the building closed (because Trey’s job was to lock-down the building at night).  Adam and Trey soon found that despite the Antenna’s limitations (3 mile radius), that the internet, word of mouth reviews, and the support of Roanoke Area Musicians gave the two young men an extremely wide audience.  By the end of the fall semester, The NIRS had the second-largest listening audience at WRKE 101.3fm.  And the two realized the potential of supporting, encouraging, and hosting the local musician’s on the show.  Many interviews were conducted, many friends were made.  Everything was bliss.

Then several things broke it all apart. First, both young men allowed their ideas to expand beyond plausible reach, by attempting to started a community themed grassroots record company simply called Nexus Recordings.  Second, Trey ended leaving Roanoke College to move to a new city and new school an hour and a half away.  Third, one of the band’s Nexus was heavily supporting split up, the other had a major change in direction and attitude.  Following all of that, Nexus was unofficially abandoned.  Adam, who had been trying to keep The NIRS going with their friend Aubrey Page, finally called it quits.  Trey’s life grew busier–Full-time student by day, full-time ABC Manager at a Gas Station by night.  Adam’s life at Roanoke College grew busier and busier as well, as he began to near graduation.  By the beginning of 2007 The NIRS and Nexus Recordings were effectively dead.  All that remained behind was a hope in the two young men and their peers– and a psuedo-new-group-name they mumbled around their social circle.  Trey and Adam, remained quiet and away from the spotlight– they, along with their peers: T. Garth Simmons, Tommy Custer, Billy Hinton, Chris Hodges, Aubrey Page, Wayne Pucket, Shawn Unroe and the late John “The Phantom Critic” Persinger (R.I.P. my friend) began to make plans and decisions.  They were just waiting for someone in the group to make the first move.

Then, in October of 2007 Trey to Adam and the other that he planned to move to CA in the Summer to attend a 1 year Film School.  Shortly thereafter, in a failed attempt to disprove his mother’s opinions of Grad-School, Adam found himself wishing to further his education at a school for Audio Engineering, this school is also in California.  In January 2008, the two made their commitments to the school’s and in late July, they drove across the country to Los Angeles to chase their dreams the intelligent way.  They had effectively taken the first step, towards the group reaching their dreams, and this bold move shook things up for the rest of the group remaining in VA.  Adam and Trey are working on getting the doorway into the entertainment business open, and then will be holding it open for the rest of crew to step through.  Adam and Trey’s plan to start a company was transformed from Nexus Recordings into the idea of an intitiy much larger and more expansive; with more possibilities of exploration and creativity– a goal they all feel strongly about.  And it is with that in mind, that Adam and Trey want to bring back a little bit of the beginning… The Not Important Radio Show.  So, as of January 27th, 2009 the first Not Important Radio Show podcast became available for streaming:

The Not Important Radio Show Season 3, Episode 01: This is a test…
(74 mins) Adam T. Croft & Trey A. Simmons (recorded January 26th/27th, 2009).”

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How the show will work from now on:

We plan to record one show a week: more if we feel the need, or less if we don’t have the time or material.  We’re aiming for the show to run about an hour and a half– 50 minutes to an hour of music; 30-40 minutes of Trey and Adam discussing new releases, giving reviews, and talking about whatever Music/Film information happens to be on their minds.  However, until we start getting music submitted to us from musicians, the show will feature a lot more of Adam and I talking and will have distinctively shorter run times.  After we record the audio, in another day or two we will have the completed show online and available for streaming.  It will be available on the Myspace page, The Blogspot page, and for those who are crazy enough to search for it… the Podcast hosting site, as well.

As far as the music goes…  we are two broke young men and therefore, we cannot afford to pay for licensing and copyright permissions.  Legally we are required to pay any artist for the right to play the artist’s music on our show.  However, to get around that we have a Music Submission Form, that the Rights Holder (and the Band, if two different parties) will have to sign, and send back to us– BY FILLING OUT THE FORM THE ARTIST/RIGHTS HOLDER AGREES TO GRANTING THE NIRS PERMISSION TO PLAY SAID MUSICIAN’S MUSIC ON THE PODCAST, AT THE LEISURE OF THE SHOW’S HOSTS.  After we have obtained that written agreement and understanding from the musician and Rights Holder, we can accept music from the artists.  It’s going to be a slow to start process but we’re going our tracks and the artist’s that way.   True, as an artist and Rights Holder, it is unfortunate that we cannot pay you for your materials.  We are also aware that a trust must be developed.  Too easily do people steal music and ideas from others these days.  And we understand that concern, because we are/have been artists of some kind ourselves.  Our intention, is to play music by unsigned musician’s, for the sake of all the talented musician’s that are out there who cannot seem to get their sound heard.  We seek to become a voice to the voiceless if you will, or better a microphone to amplify a sound.  We want to help promote the artists.   To help get the musician’s we play and their respective music and into the universe, into cyberspace, and hopefully into the hearts and minds of music lovers everywhere.

We will not slander, or harshly criticise any artists who take the time and energy to submit to us, even if we do not like your music.  If music is submitted and it is not played on the next posted show, remember we do not record live.  We also must warn about discouragment if we do not play a piece of music submitted to us.  We are most definitely do not have the only audience, and we are certainly not the only amplifiers.  Every musician has there place, the key is finding it.

Now, I am not the business guy.  I am he who handles dealings with the people at large, all I have said above is my understanding of the business terms we worked on.  Again, I do not know business at all.  That is Adam’s deal, and he has made available online a link to the Submission form, for any one to be able to read.  I must apologize for anything I said above the was not mentioned in the documentation/form or seemed to not follow the Forms specification.  When all else fails– THE FORM IS CORRECT.  I may have misinterpretted something, misunderstood Adam, or a million other mildly-valid excuses.  Just remember, go by what the Form says first and foremost, don’t just take my word for it.

Anyways, we need musicians.  So whoever you are… please, if you know of a talented musician of any sort, at least give us a shot.  What have you got to lose?

Here’s where you can find it the PodCast and more information:

The Not Important Radio’s MySpace Page |||||||||||||| The NIRS Blogspot Page

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oh and One Final Thing…

The first podcast is posted and available for streaming.  However, warning, this was simply made as a test run.  Its been  2 1/2 years since I was last on the air, and 2 years for Adam.  Also, our studio is our apartment in Los Angeles, rather than an official Radio Station– oddly enough, we have better mics and equipment now!  Furthermore, we are both accustomed to recording the shows live with an audience listening and calling in, we are used to having to follow FCC Regulations and we are used to doing shows with Music…since, this show is based around Adam’s and my own love for music.   Most of that has changed–Some have changed forever, some only temporarily.  The music will be coming soon (I hope!), the audience/live bit, well, who knows maybe someday soon we’ll figure that out.  An actual studio–c’mon a boy can dream, right?  But say goodbye forever to the FCC and to low frequency FM antennas.  The internet has been a proven aid to us in the past and we are seeking its assistance yet again.

So keep in mind… if you plan to brave your way through the first podcast–  It is 74 minutes of Adam and I talking non-stop.  We are rambling on and on, sporatically shifting from one topic to another, and staggering our way through our words as we simply try to get ourselves comfortable with the routine all over again.

By the way: If you can get all the way through the first podcast (The All Trey & Adam Talking, no music Podcast), well, then I owe you a cookie.
We plan to do one podcast a week… they’ll get better as we go, of course, and as more music comes to us.

-Trey A Simmons.

Quote: 3

“Laugh more, complain less.  That’s the secret to life folks.” -Jeff Fiorentino

Picture This.

You wake up one morning and there is no one around.  No one, nothing, not one single living-breathing thing, other than you.  You wander around or countless hours searching.  Searching for anyone, or maybe anything; anything that will lead you to a conclusion to the questions that have been plaguing your mind: What happened to everyone? Where did they all go?  Why I am still here?

You search up and down countless streets and alleyways. You search through so many buildings your calf-muscles ache from climbing up and down all those stairs.  You are very nervous and growing more and more scared every second.  You have lived in this city for twenty years and today is the first time you have heard silence.  Absolute silence; the only sounds you can hear are of your own making.

Standing on the rooftop of a building in the shopping district, you suddenly hear the faint soft sound of a little girl giggling.  You immediately race down the closest flight of stairs.  When you arrive at the street you top for a moment to catch your breath, which seems to be lagging quite a ways behind you.  While stopped you try to listen for the girl.  Once again you hear nothing.

After a few moments, that to you felt like an eternity, you hear the giggle again.  You being to run towards the sound.  Running faster and faster, ever gaining speed, you just keep running on and on and on.  Twisting and turnings down roads, alleyways and around street corners running towards that little girl.  How scared she must be to be alone, but she laughs.  She seems to be getting louder, so you must be getting close.

You turn a corner, you can make out her figure down the road a little ways.  You’re almost there, when suddenly everything goes to blakc.  You wake up in your bed, everything is a little fuzzy.  You leave your room and the moment the door opens you hear a large group of people scream, “Surprise!”  Before you have a chance to respond everything goes to black once more.

You wake up and there is no one around.  No one, nothing, not one single-living breathing thing.  You wander around for countless hours searching.  Searching for anyone, or maybe anything; anything that will lead you to a conclusion to the questions that have been plaguing your mind: What has happened to everyone?  Where did they all go?  Will there be another little girl?  Why does this keep happening to me?

51.

51, ah yes, the number fifty-one.  It’s not a very exciting number.  It’s not phenomenal at all.  There is nothing all that thrilling about this number.  It was not even a part of some great year.  What is the important historical signifigance of 1951, 1851, 1751, 1651, 1551, 1451, 1351, 1251, 1151, 1051, 951, 851, 751, 651, 551, 451, 351, 251, 151, 51, etc.  Nothing of any real importance whatsoever occurred during any one of those years.  So, why do I speak of the number 51? The answer to that is simple—I do not know.  Nobody knows, really. One theory says it could be that 51 is my lucky number, even though it is not and especially not given the fact that I am not at all superstitious.  Another theory says that it could have something to do with wh… no, sorry, that’s ridiculous.  Whales off the shores of Alaska have nothing to do with the number 51—as far as I know.
To be perfectly honest, the saddest thing about all of this is that this page.  This very page right here that you appear to be reading, may prove to be the most important thing that has ever happened to the number 51.  I mean, imagine it, put yourself in 51’s shoes—be careful when you do though, make not of 51’s shape; one shoe is bigger than the other—ever since you were imagined, born, conjured up, and/or invented you have been useless.  You have been nothing but the number after a very important number.  Then all of the sudden someone, right out of nowhere, takes an entire page and dedicates it to you…

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